Up to my eye balls in “stuff” and not much time to post about it but as I was reading a blog, of one of the members, of one of the “many” knitting groups I’m on….*breathe*…I found this -
I just wish I had room on the blog somewhere to put the widget as I think it’s really…well excuse my American…neat.
Most folk are in bed now. It’s 1.30am. It’s relatively quiet. I say relatively because Mark is sitting next to me on his computer playing Everquest II. I can hear the clack, clack of the keyboard and the sound effects from the game. It’s sort of peaceful. We don’t get peaceful in this house anymore. It’s always noisy and busy.
I don’t mind that. We have an active three year old in the house now. 5 adults and one child. It’s a very full house. Which hasn’t been without it’s challenges; integrating a very boisterous and challenged child into a house that has been very quiet for 6 years is bound to have it’s challenges. It’s happened before - when I had my oldest daughter and grand-daughter living with us.
But…
Everyone was so much younger then. *I* was so much younger then. And healthier too.
So for the first two weeks there was an awful lot of settling in, and learning new rules, and finding one’s feet, and getting used to extra bodies, and finding room for stuff, and making allowances for a little person… He really did find it hard. I thought I’d effectively little-person-proofed the house. I was wrong. He found a white board marker within hours of arriving and scribbled up the stair wall. Fortunately it washed off and we had a few days of being extra vigilant. It was very tiring for everybody, especially for my grandson, who wailed often and needed constant cuddles off his mum. Which in turn exhausted his mum and made everybody else fractious because we were so trying to lighten her load.
Everyone got a little snippy too. It was to be expected. I was giving my attention to my daughter and grandson so that they’d feel comfortable but that meant my attention was then taken away from everyone else. I tried hard to juggle between everyone and I didn’t do so well. It turned out I wasn’t wonder woman after all. Who knew?
What we really needed was more communication. Lots of it.
But that was then and this is now. Things are much, much, much better. Everyone talks to everyone else. We’re becoming a family unit again, with an extra little person thrown in for good measure. Occasionally we blip, like all families blip but we talk about it and find ways to overcome it. It’s the only way really, isn’t it?
It’s all less exhausting too. Mentally if not physically. I’m not second guessing anymore. My daughter feels at home and joins in more and that means that my grandson is relaxing and doesn’t need his mum quite so often. I’m learning to understand what my grandson is saying (he has developmental problems and his speech is behind for his age) and we have our little conversations. Mostly about the Little Einsteins or The Night Garden - his favourite television programmes. And we have our special time where we sit and draw together or play tickles or we sing tunes together. I really like that bit.
I learned yesterday that he missed me while I was out shopping. He kept asking his mum “where’s Nana gone” and wasn’t happy until he saw I was back and we’d said hello. It might seem a silly thing but it was very precious. Since he’d moved in he hadn’t really wanted me in the same way that he used to: before moving in he would regularly phone me for little “chats” (where I did most of the talking really) and would get excited when we’d visited. Of course he’d felt displaced and needed lots of comforting from his mum and I *missed* the bond we’d had before. Now it’s coming back and he skips up to me and bellows “hello Nana” even if I’d only been in the next room. It’s lovely.
But I have to admit this time right now, this quiet time is rather lovely. I almost don’t want to go to bed and carry on savouring it. But we’ve had a particularly tough week this week, with lots of sickness in the house and I really am tired.
So off to bed it is. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
So much has been going on:
My health saga
The kiddos moving in saga
The changing rooms round saga
The weightloss saga
The new grandchild in August saga
And on and on.
Just not enough hours in the day. I know I’ve got emails to answer too. I’m here and alive, just absolutely swamped. I’ll try and get back soon.
Honest.
Goodness I’ve been so rushed off my feet that I forgot to send Imbolc greetings to you all. Thank you to Amber and Ruinwen who came by personally with theirs.
I’ve kept fairly tight lipped about what’s been going on at Chateau BC&O because at the time it wasn’t just my news to tell. Over the years I’ve become a little more reluctant to relate all the details of life. However, it’s probably as good a time as any to let folk know that Daughter3 is moving back home with Grandson2. She’s lived in her own home for 4 years but she’s been finding it increasingly difficult and in the end Himself and I felt we should ask her to come back home so that we can offer her 24 hour support.
It’s not going to be easy; ours is a small house and we shall have to use the dining room as a bedroom but it’s all just logistics really. Himself doesn’t mind sleeping downstairs. In fact he quite likes the idea as he hates managing the stairs anyway. We have facilities downstairs and upstairs so there’ll be even less reason for him to have to use the stairs anymore. We did this once before with Daughter1 and she used it as a spring board to getting her life in order. It’s an opportunity for Daughter3 to do the same.
I’m quite looking forward to it. I enjoy a close relationship with all my children and grandchildren so having them around me all the time is something to look forward to. Himself feels the same. Just as well really or else we’d all be in a right pickle!
Not quite what we expected from the hospital visit yesterday. There was no doctor on hand as it was a specialist nurse led clinic just checking up on how it’s going with the Copaxone. She wasn’t too sure what to make of the EMG and MRI results and so suggested a referral to see the consultant again. No idea how long that might take so we’re presuming that the most recent symptoms that Himself has developed are MS related. I’m not sure how I feel about having to wait however many months again before we see a doctor. I usually feel positive when we’ve had a visit to the MS clinic but at the moment I just feel messed about.
As for Son1 and Son2, they’d sorted it all out between themselves by the time we returned from the clinic. maybe there’s hope after all.
And finally, an update on the diet -
I’m not following any specific diet; I’m just eating smaller portions, added more fruit and vegetables, eating high fibre substitutes of breakfast cereals, rice and pasta and cut down on high fat foods. No chocolate, no sweets and no pastries during the week. I only have three meals day - if I’m really hungry in between times then I have fruit. On Saturday evening I have a treat. This could involve a small chocolate bar or a slice of cake. It depends on what I fancy.
After 14 weeks of dieting I’ve lost two dress sizes and a total of 9 and a half inches lost from my bust, waist and hips. Interestingly though, I’ve noticed the biggest loss is on my hands and wrists. My watch is hanging at my wrist and needs to have some links taken out; my engagement and wedding ring are very loose and I’m holding them on with a much smaller ring I haven’t been able to wear in a while. I don’t want to have my rings altered until I’m at my goal size.
Of course now I can see results it is making it a bit easier. I still get cravings every now and again but I generally kill them by having a cup of tea. I’m hoping to be at least another dress size down by the summer. I’m looking forward to that as by then I’ll need new clothes and there’s nothing to boost a flagging self-esteem than a touch of retail therapy!
Off to the hospital with Himself today to find out the results of the EMG and MRI from last year. hopefully there won’t be anything too dire to tell us.
Son1 has just changed his shift to all noons. Which is very nice for him as he doesn’t have to get up at ridiculous times in the morning any more. However, he’s now taken to talking to his American friends on Vent until Stupid O’Clock in the morning keeping Son2 awake with him. This doesn’t go down well when Son2 has to be up in a morning for college. I’ve promised to have a frank and open discussion with Son1 to try and find a compromise.
They’re 22 and 19 respectively and I’m still having to sort out the spats between them.
Do children ever grow up?
I have got to stop abandoning my poor blog like this. Trouble is life keeps getting in the way.
Bugger
Things are settling, if painfully slowly and I do appreciate the good wishes and positive thoughts that you’ve all been sending me. At the moment life feels like I almost completed a jigsaw and it got knocked off the table. Now I’m slowly putting it all back together again.
The only real excuse is I don’t want to constantly be a Mrs Bad News. It gets tiresome for me so I’m sure it would get tiresome for those of you who come by and read BC&O. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about the trivial when life is being anything but!
Anyway…I shall endeavour to improve.
Write out a hundred times…
I must do better
I must do better
I must do better
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re having the book thrown at you at times? As if it’s not one thing but another?
Life here in BC&O land is one long merry-go-round at the moment.
For example; I’m ill, Himself is ill, Daughter1 is pregnant and ill, Son2 is ill. I’m trying to support Himself, Daughter1 and Son2 as they struggle. Himself tries to support me as I struggle. Daughter3 is trying to keep her little family going but is being quite poorly with this pregnancy as well as being treated for hypothyroidism and Son2 is ready to throw his hands up and see where everything falls.
Daughter3 is coping with a special needs child without any support except what she gets from her family. But those who live close to her - myself, Himself and Daughter1 - are ill and are finding it hard to support her as much as she needs.
Son2 is finding it increasingly hard to manage college since he became ill (I’m not allowed to say with what as he has asked that I not give any details). These are the final months of a second two year course that he needs to get to university. I and Himself are encouraging him as much as possible but he’s just flagging under the strain. He’s panicking that he won’t get to university and that if he does get there he won’t be able to cope! Apart from doing the work for him (which of course is a silly suggestion as 1. I wouldn’t do that and 2. I don’t understand it anyway!) I’m at a loss as to what else I can do. It’s frustrating. Especially as the GP treating him has just gone on holiday for a month so on Friday he’ll have to go and see someone he doesn’t know and who he doesn’t feel as comfortable with. Not good for someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.
*sigh*
Mary left me a comment saying it sounds like I’m due a good cry.
She could well be right.
Updated to add: Tony came by and left a sweet message of consolation which was very nice of him. So I popped over and had to chuckle at his latest posting. Go over and see…
I got this via email from Susan but thought I’d post it here. If you want to do it too then leave a comment and I’ll come over and read yours:
1. What is your occupation right now?
Chief cook and bottle washer
2. What color are your socks right now?
Black red and blue - they’re odd socks but as I’ll be wearing boots when I go out no-one will know. Except you of course.
3. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing. It’s quiet in the conservatory
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Cereal for breakfast
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Nope. Don’t drive at all
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Daughter 3
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yup
8. How old are you today?
47 years, 10 months and 21 days…I think. That’s if my maths is up to scratch.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
I don’t watch sports
10. What is your favorite drink?
Vimto. It takes me back to when I was a little girl. I’d go to the working men’s club with my Nan and Granddad and they would buy me a bottle of Vimto and a packet of cheese and onion crisps to munch on whilst they played bingo. Happy days
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
I haven’t had an all over dye on my hair ever. I did try red highlights about 3 years ago but didn’t like it. So I grew it out. Now I’m au naturel
12. Favorite food?
Raspberries. I can eat them by the punnet load when they’re in season
13. What is the last movie you watched?
Mary Poppins. I hadn’t seen it in nearly 20 years and noticed it was on of the movie channels. Such a sweet film
14. Favorite day of the year?
Imbolc - as I’m lighting the candles I know that Spring is really just around the corner.
15. How do you vent anger?
I clean the house. Which is why my lot always look worried when I’m doing the daily chores.
16. What was your favourite toy as a child?
I could say my Granddad but he really was a play-mate. Instead I’ll say an old drop leaf table in my Nan’s house. She used to let me sit under one side of it with a table cloth draped over to make a play house. I’d spend ages playing under it.
17. What is your favorite season?
Spring
18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Raspberries
19. Living arrangements?
Semi detached house in the ‘burbs
20. When was the last time you cried?
I can’t remember
21. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes
22. What did you do last night?
Slept mostly
23.What are you most afraid of?
Flying insects. I hate the way they get in your face.
24. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
I’m not that keen on Hamburgers to be honest
25. Favorite dog breed?
I’m not fussed really
26 Favorite day of the week?
Saturday. There’s no pressure and everyone is just chilling.
27. Diamonds or pearls
Diamonds!
28. What is your favourite flower?
Bluebells. I remember going for long walks with my Nan through bluebells. Just lovely.
I’m not posting much am I?
Sorry about that.
So anyway, Happy New Year. Still dieting, still taking the iron tablets (which are icky and the side effects don’t bear repeating). Not much knitting but plenty of chilling.
Life is good…ish so I’m not complaining. Which makes a pleasant change.
More soon. Honest.
